i was gone for a minute . . .

but now i'm back at it!

it's been hell trying to keep my feelings bottled up inside. i decided to come back and let it out the best way i know how, in writing.

DAMN.
where do i start?

for the past couple of weeks things have been strained between me and Bee* [my best friend]. i've learned from my sisters that she's been messing around with two niggas that they have had past relations with. i don't think it's the fact that she fuckin` with them that irritates me, but it's the way she is going about it. Ericka*, [ my 24 year old sister ] has already voiced that Bee can mess with this guy but she still think it cool to sneak around and swear she isn't doing anything with him. The nigga's cousin is a friend of mine and she tells me how much Bee hits him up. The other dude is Angela's* [my 21 year old sister] best friend. Bee knows that Ang has had sex with this nigga and has come back to say it's wack but STILL WANTS TO FUCK HIM. She doesn't know that we know that she spent the night hugged up and kissing on him Saturday, but why wouldn't she? The dude and my sister still maintain a really good friendship and he tells her every. o_O. I said, right in front of her that any bitch that fucks with that nigga is stupid and she did it THE SAME NIGHT. But I'm not surprised, in high school she was known exchanging dudes with her friends and sleeping with her male "best friends". I just hope for her sake, she hasn't messed with any one that I really liked. Then it would be war.

My love-life is still how it was months ago, when i first deleted my blog: STALE. I quit talking to Devon* shortly after that and we recently got back in touch, but only for a physically arrangement. The nigga couldn't even pull through on that! WTF. He's 29 and still playing the high school games. [For those that don't know; Devon is this guy I met while working at the gym almost 2 years ago. Angela still works there and they talk sometimes] We planned to get it crackin` last Saturday but some of his peoples got locked up so he couldn't make it. I told him I'd hit him up later in the week so we could set something up. I texted in 3 times in 3 days and he didn't hit me back once. This past Saturday he told my sister to tell me to hit him up. And just to see if he would answer, I sent him a text. NOTHING. So I told Ang not to tell me anymore if he asks for me or talks about me. He can kick rocks. Other than that, I'm not talking to anyone. Me and my girls had dudes over Saturday night but none of them were up to my standards. I think they're too high but Ang tells me they are just right for me and my prince is going to come and fill them like it in the fairy tales.